Do you guys talk to your partner about sexual desires and erotic fantasies?
I would be interested in who of you can talk openly with your partner about erotic fantasies and sexual desires? Who has problems with this and why? Does it make a difference whether you're in a relationship or solo?
In my previous relationships, I have always been very reluctant to express my sexual fantasies. As a single, on the other hand, I don't have this inhibition threshold to talk openly about my erotic longings, strangely enough.
I'm genuinely surprised by how many people here are saying not to talk about it! ... and I thought I was conservative! :) What's the harm in discussing it though?! ... whether it actually materializes is a different story... because it takes at least two for that! :D And I understand it's not that straightforward, but pretending and, in the worst-case scenario, indulging fantasies elsewhere, might not be productive either.
I think you shouldn't bring everything you have sexual desires into a healthy relationship. A relationship has a lot to do with mutual respect. However, some sexual desires are not exactly very respectful. If I want my partner to swallow my sperm after I've *** ed her hard in her mouth, that's not exactly nice of me. And she doesn't forget that after we're out of the bedroom.
No, I think you don't have to talk about everything in a relationship and then try it out. After all, prostitution has existed for this since time immemorial. I think that's very healthy and the relationship is not unnecessarily burdened. There are enough other problems in life.
Honestly? I find it uncomfortable to talk to my partner about my sexual desires and ideas. Some of those are pretty nasty things that I want her to do in bed, and I just can't imagine she's ready for them.
However, I've never asked her either. But what if I ask her and she is flabbergasted by me? This kind of thing tears open wounds that may never fully heal. She would see me in a different light forever. So that's why I prefer to keep my sexual fantasies to myself and everything stays as it is!
The sexualized society we live in today is way too much about sex! As if you would only find your personal fulfillment in shooting the most perverted home porn yourself and putting it on the net. Our grandparents got along very well without shagging around the clock like animals just because they saw it on the internet.
For young people it has become part of the process to do everything at home that they have caught in these little films. The question is whether this is healthy! So no! You don't have to talk to your partner about everything that is sexually haunting your head. Absolutely no way. That's not what a relationship is for!
Of course, communication is very important in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex! You have to and I can only recommend it to everyone from the bottom of my heart. If you don't do that, a lot of sexual energy builds up and that is very unhealthy for any relationship. The sexual instinct is one of the strongest human instincts. If you don't channel it and take the pressure off it from time to time, then it will discharge itself somewhere else. The consequences are aggression, depression or mood swings, which can also turn against the partner. Couples should therefore definitely talk about their wishes and desires on a sexual level. You are often amazed at how much your partner understands and also feels - a qualified psychologist will tell you!
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