His mum doesn’t like me, what now?
My boyfriend’s mum doesn’t like me, I feel like she doesn’t accept me. Lately I’m even starting to think his whole family doesn’t accept me. What can I do to make things better?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months now, he’s introduced me to his family. I like his family, his mum too. She can be a bit annoying sometimes but she’s generally nice. At first everything was fine, but recently something feels off. I think his mum doesn’t like me anymore. She’s been acting weird lately, sticking her nose into everything. Even stuff about our relationship that’s none of her business.
I’m starting to feel like his mum proper hates me. Sometimes I find her a bit sly and nitpicky towards me.
Occasionally I even get the vibe his whole family doesn’t like me anymore, even though nothing’s happened. No arguments, no disagreements. I just don’t get it.
I think I’m a decent daughter-in-law. I’m always polite, really helpful. Now I don’t know what else I can do to make them like me.
I love my boyfriend, don’t want to leave him just because his mum or family can’t stand me.
Hey there!
Your post sounds really heartfelt and desperate. It seems like things with your mother-in-law are tough, and it’s clear you deeply value having a good relationship with your partner’s family.
To be honest, it feels like something might’ve gone down—maybe something you didn’t even notice. It’s odd that she was polite and friendly at first but now seems off. Are you sure nothing happened? Could you have unintentionally upset her?
Have you chatted with your partner about this? I’d be shocked if he’s completely clueless. He probably knows his mom better than anyone.
My advice: Be upfront! Have a calm, respectful talk with her when the moment’s right. You’re both adults, and you’ll need to find a way to get along moving forward.
Wishing you the best!
One issue might be that you're the "new girl" in the house. It's not always easy for parents when a new, unfamiliar family member suddenly shows up. They didn't choose you themselves—your boyfriend/their son did. So there's this unknown woman, and the family has to deal with you whether they like it or not.
To make things trickier, moms especially see their sons as absolute princes, and no woman can take care of their son better than they can. My mom thinks the exact same way.
From my own experience, I'd suggest having a one-on-one talk. You can calmly share your feelings and impressions, and your boyfriend's mom can explain her side. A direct, honest conversation is always helpful in situations like this.
Comment by Single
Well at first everything was fine. It's only been like this for a few weeks this feeling that she can't stand me anymore. That's why I'm so confused myself. Sure the situation is kinda new for his parents but early on I really felt accepted.
What's way worse for me though is that his mom meddles in every single thing about our relationship. That bugs me a lot but my boyfriend just shrugs it off. If I speak my mind and she knows deep down I'm right she still digs her heels in and opposes me. His dad mostly stays out of it but I can sense this negative vibe from him too.
If his mom liked you before she can’t just hate you out of nowhere. She’s gotta see you’re an awesome and unique daughter-in-law and your kindness and helpfulness already go a long way. Bring her little gifts now and then, like flowers she loves or some small sweet gesture. Show her you genuinely care about her as a mother-in-law. Maybe she’s testing you to see if you’re serious and honest about her son. If that doesn’t work just talk to her straight-up about your suspicions.
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