Singles Like Gazzer From Portsmouth - Meet Online & Fall in Love

My self-description

Former bodybuilder who traded six-pack abs for a solid comedy gut and an impressive collection of parking tickets. I’m 5’10” on a good day (and wearing boots). Currently built like a fridge that tells jokes — solid, a bit chunky, and surprisingly good at making people laugh while they judge me.
I make my living roasting myself on stage so strangers don’t have to do it for free in the DMs. My superpower is turning awkward silences into material. If you date me, everything that goes wrong between us will eventually become a killer 5-minute bit. You’re welcome.
What You’ll Get:

Someone who can deadlift your emotional baggage (used to lift heavy, still got the back for it)
Late-night texts that are 90% memes and 10% “sorry I bombed tonight”
A man who knows how to cook exactly three meals and will still try to impress you with the fourth
Zero filter, maximum dad jokes, and the occasional existential crisis at 2am

Who I am looking for

I’m after someone who’s genuinely loving, caring and loyal — basically the kind of woman who’ll have my back even when I *** on stage and come home smelling like a dive bar.
Most importantly, she needs a top-tier sense of humour. I want someone who can roast me, laugh at my terrible dad jokes, and still think I’m funny even when I’m being an idiot (which is most days).
If you can handle a 5’10 ex-bodybuilder comedian with a dad bod and a big heart, send me a message. Let’s create the kind of relationship that’s equal parts warm hugs, ridiculous laughter, and stories we’ll tell for years.
Bonus points if you’re the type who steals the duvet but makes up for it with morning cuddles and bad puns.
Fun Fact:
I once got booed off stage so hard that the promoter paid me in protein shakes instead of cash. Still the most honest review I’ve ever received.

This version sounds warm, honest, and charming while still being funny. Want any tweaks?

What's important for me

Ask me i am never list things like this sorry

I think that's really erotic

Ask me wow this site leaves nothing to the imagination

I'm looking for people for

Dating & relationship
from Portsmouth and the surrounding area

Music

Heavy metal

Interests

Reading, play an instrument, do nothing, listen songs, art / creative working, cook food

Sports

Swimming, skiing

Favorite books

Well to many to list anyway if i list every like i have you will have nothing to ask me

Favorite movies

Watching schmaltzy love movies to cry in intimate togetherness is much better than alone, isn't it? Oh, how romantic 😊 If you want to know what kind of movies touch me emotionally besides love films, get in touch! What are your top 10 movies?

Favorite TV shows

Watching television is a great way to distract yourself from everyday life, but I didn't feel like listing all of my favorite tv series here.

Where to meet me in Portsmouth

I'll be happy to write you my favorite places in a message if you're interested.

Education

Master's degree, PhD / Postdoc

Profession

Artist / musician

Languages

English

Ethnicity

White / Caucasian

Smoking

Smoker