No luck with online dating?
I’ve been signed up on several free online dating platforms for a few months now and, looking back, I’ve come to a pretty disappointing conclusion.
Even though I take the initiative and message women myself, nothing has really come of it beyond some shallow small talk. I’m just not having any success. Meaning: no dates, no real meetups with women like I had hoped. At this point, online dating feels completely pointless to me!
Originally I actually thought I’d do pretty well with women – I take good care of myself and I’d say I’m decent-looking. Because I’m quite shy when it comes to approaching women in real life / everyday situations, I figured I’d give online dating a try… but unfortunately, as I said, it’s been a total flop so far.
I’m curious: have any of you had similar experiences with online dating?
How successful have you been with internet dating?
I’ve also been wondering whether it’s worth signing up for a paid dating site. What are other people’s experiences with the paid ones? Does online dating actually work for most people?
I wouldn’t give up hope just because online dating hasn’t worked out for you so far. Maybe try being a little bolder in your messages and throwing in some humor. Showing women that you’ve got a sense of humor makes you more attractive.
Also, try bringing up topics that have a bit more depth. Women like that and will definitely appreciate it!
I don’t think online dating is the actual problem here. The fact that you already managed to reach out to a woman is already a solid step. And the replies you’re getting show that you look good enough to catch women’s attention and interest.
If you’re stuck at the small-talk stage, it’s probably more of a communication issue. You can try figuring out if it’s coming from you or from her by taking a look at your messages. Does it seem like there was never really any interest to begin with, or is it just that neither of you is bold enough to make the next move? If it’s the latter, you should try to gather the courage and just ask her out directly. Even if you’re shy, talking face-to-face might actually be easier than texting, since you already know she’s into you.
Don’t go into online dating with super high expectations. A lot of women (and plenty of guys too) on these apps aren’t really taking it seriously, so they don’t put much effort into replying to every message. A bunch of people are just looking for something casual/one-night stands, and the second they sense you’re actually looking for something real, they usually pull back and it stays at surface-level small talk.
My advice: Put up a really good profile picture, write something honest and authentic about yourself, and then… just wait a little. Sometimes the best thing is to let a cool woman find you first. At the end of the day, women are usually the ones choosing anyway, not the other way around.
And if someone’s only giving you short, half-assed replies? Then you already know she’s not the one. Simple as that.
Latest Articles in the Dating Guide
